she's too good at pretending she doesn't care. [entries|friends|calendar] ASH.TRASH.SMASH. [ website | where the ho's go. ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

that time became this time. [Saturday October 6th, 2007 at 7:18pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | FITYCENT 'disco inferno' ] i think it's time for a new journal. i think i actually want a new journal. but i'm so fucking attached to this one. because i've had it for sooo long. ps: i totally have good grades. $8.00 is the price to pay.

you'll just say what they want to. [Sunday September 30th, 2007 at 9:50pm] [ mood | bleh,bleh ] [ music | farewell 'start it up.' ] well, this just sucks beyond words: goddamn facebook to hell. i don't have anything to say because everything is basically the same. i think i'm just going out more. which is good, because i've run out of ways to entertain myself when i'm home and bored. my grades are actually all pretty decent. except my 48% in english. and i'm totally over playing golf in gym-even though it's pretty goddamn funny. i do believe shann, jared, and i will one day beat tiger woods. we're that good. &here. some philly pictures from last ( sunday. ) $2.00 is the price to pay.

seven.ate.nine. [Sunday September 16th, 2007 at 6:09pm] [ mood | PEACHYKEEN. ] [ music | a fine frenzy 'you picked me.' ] i guess i'm back into this shitty school situation. jackie drives me every day-getting in and out of her car is amusing. time spent with jimmy boone, bra unhooking [ahem] and passing notes in english. clouds of puerto rican hatred on slight occasions. the usual nightly phone calls. and football games and boy hunting with alicia. i have random bad feelings, but i'll get over it. and i'm going to seegenesis with my dad on thurs. t h e e n d. the price to pay.

everything is just everything, now. [Wednesday September 5th, 2007 at 4:01pm] [ mood | WHATWHAT?! ] [ music | the spill canvas 'the tide.' ] LAST FIRST DAY OF HIGHSCHOOL. it's some real crazy shit. i'm a fucking senior. jimmy boone picked me up. going anywhere with him is amusing. he gets his schedual. lunch + three classes together? fucking amazing. i'm deff gonna fail spanish 4. without jimmy boone...i know nothing. and i really don't know a kid in my class. same with physics and algebra 2. SCHEDUAL & BITCHES IN MY CLASSES: 1st pd-spanish: britney spellacy. i guess it's nice to have her. 2nd pd-gym: shannon. i call her for partners in everything. hahaha. and then i have lynn and such. 3rd pd-art: the usual crowd. pill. lynn. kristen. sarah. and some new people i doubt i'll speak to. 4th pd-lunch: JIMMY BOONE. the love of my liiiiife. he's a complete asshole. 5/6 pd-english: JIMMY BOONE....and he sits right behind me. and i have jackie and lynn. 7/8 pd-psychology: JIMMY BOONE! and rulo! i fucking love rulo. 9/10 pd-algebra 2: i really don't have anyone. though i spent the entire period talking to dustin. 11/12pd-physics: i have nobody. at all. this class will kill me. twice. 13th pd-world cultures: aka world cutmyself. JIMMY BOONE! and alicia. and jimmy sits behind me, ofcourse. hopefully this year won't fucking suck like i think it will. i do know i'm going to fail every class jimmy has with me. ahhahaa.<3 oh, fucking hell. here's random pictures i took at my uncle's new house on sunday. i think there's like a video or two as well. ( !@#$%! ) $8.00 is the price to pay.

and with that, say nothing more. [Saturday September 1st, 2007 at 1:19am] [ mood | sad ] [ music | silence. ] i feel like i'm second best. and that i'm losing you. and that there's distance between us. and that my insecurities will one day tear me apart. $4.00 is the price to pay.

cloudy little skies of desperation. [Saturday August 18th, 2007 at 1:55pm] [ mood | iiight. ] [ music | long beach short bus 'california grace' ] my last day of work was yesterday. i'm going to miss it-but then again, i'm not. obviously i'm glad i made friends with leslie and made better friends with gabby. i need different people in my life who aren't like the people i've known all through highschool. i still don't know what i'm going to do about one friend situation. we talked about it all and i know what's happened. my trust is very hard to gain and very easy to break. i hardly ever give second chances but i've thought about everything. goddamn. now i've got 2 weeks until school starts. 2 weeks that i'm free and can chill around and do whatev. yeahh. we'll see what happens. i want to go to the shore again. i think i need to make that shit happen. and now some work pictures. one set is actually from work. so please excuse how disgusting i and everyone else looks. the second set is from the lower camp pf changs dinner. where we all look nice. ( you'll never know in the mean time. ) $8.00 is the price to pay.

oh, just settle baby-you are not the sun. [Sunday August 5th, 2007 at 9:24pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | brand new 'not the sun' ] $8.00 is the price to pay.

even i, couldn't lie. [Sunday July 29th, 2007 at 12:21am] [ mood | good ] [ music | drive like carson 'hung u.' ] SOMETHING TO UPDATE WITH. goddamn, i know. day night spent with my jimmy boone. he picked me up. we went to his house. the mission? make some veggie soup. he was supposed to cook for me, do all the work and shit. but of course i ended up cutting carrots and fucking turnips. hysterically laughing because we're both so dysfunctional. jimmy boone, cutting himself a little bit. "i hope you don't mind some AIDS in the food." the soup was actually really good. haha. even better 'cause i helped make it. made a trip to walmart. of course, we spent...about an hour or so there. condoms and ky conversations? only us. 'cause we both really don't give a shit. paint samples. the 2 for $10 movie bin. that shit takes up a lot of time. 'cause you have to see the bottom. a hott guy. getting carded for my rated R the beach movie. yayyyy for state ID cards. random model like pictures back at his house. j.lo blasting on the way home. good times.♥ oh.&.my.hair.is.different. ( this.is.how.we.do. ) $6.00 is the price to pay.

let it be know, atleast. [Saturday July 14th, 2007 at 7:57pm] [ mood | i'm not sure. ] [ music | envy on the coast 'mirrors.' ] good, i'm glad. the price to pay.

your subjects were thrown around the room. [Saturday July 7th, 2007 at 5:18pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | nip/tuck. ] anything expected of you now, i knew you'd never learn. i place my bet down now, you'd be the first one to sell me out. so, my thursday night was spent with jimmy boone. 'cause i haven't seen him in foreva, eva. mcdonalds. wal-mart. back to my house. playing grand theft auto for hours. most amusing thing time i had in days. then, last night? it all went to fucking hell. my uh, best friend? sold me the fuck out. see, i happen to hate her best friend. but, i thought we were better friends. and that she wouldn't do that to me. well, fuck me twice. my fucking bad. now, i'm finishing my nip/tuck marathon. and going to get ready to go out to dinner with michelle later. $2.00 is the price to pay.

too bad it's stolen, and already gone. [Monday June 25th, 2007 at 7:25am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | dashboard confessional 'stolen.' ] shore.shore.shore. so, LBI with michelle and her son colin was cool. there were like no waves on saturday-it was really weird. something about the wind or whatev. ended up going to taco bell after. me, yelling at a fucking seagull in the parking lot? then to michelle's grandmother's house-which is on a lake. meeting up with some of her aunts, uncles and cousins. we went to ocean city-for the board walk and rides. staying there from 8pm to 12am. getting home at 1:15am. going to sleep by like...2:45am. i feel asleep to dashboard because michelle snore's so loud. woken up at like 10am by michelle's 7 year old cousin mikayla. michelle make bacon. i made eggs. hung around until we went back to the LBI beach. big waves. burrying mikayla and her friend tara in the sand? SUNBURN. and now? i gotta go get ready for work. at GTDC. peachyyykeen. ( quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer. ) $6.00 is the price to pay.

lay down and let me lay with you. [Saturday June 23rd, 2007 at 12:51am] [ mood | amused ] [ music | T-PAIN! 'show you how' ] JIMMYBOONE! (12:40:46 AM): lol...thanks im going to go but i shall callu in a little bit me.me.me. (12:43:06 AM): yeahh, yeahhh. JIMMYBOONE! (12:41:33 AM): peace negro me.me.me. (12:43:41 AM): you just called a jew a negro. me.me.me. (12:43:47 AM): do you know what you've done? me.me.me. (12:44:03 AM): call a nazi a jew next time too, while you're at it.  - - - - - - - - - - hahaha, i could care less if i amuse other people. i amuse myself to no end. i'm going down the shore tomorrow later. LBI, or something like that. so...i'm going up to the shore. but fuck that, i'm from jersey. i'm going downnnn. the price to pay.

you knew, and you know. [Monday June 18th, 2007 at 1:06am] [ mood | sunburn. ] [ music | jimmy boone! ] last day: i'll miss my bitches. & seeing them every day. others? not so much. we better hang out. fuckers. philly: going out to dinner. center city philly. tanning by the pool with my aunt. sunburn. father's day bbq dinner. home. pictures of it all. ( i guess it comes with the territory; ) $6.00 is the price to pay.

you'll wake up and notice that we're no more. [Wednesday June 6th, 2007 at 11:08pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | the academy is...'the fever' ] i'd give you millions- if you could tell me why i act like i do. because i'm better at fucking shit up, then anyone i know. it's amazing how much i may infact hate all this. and how fucking stupid i really am. because, what else? it's my fault. jesusfuckingchristalmighty. goddamn away messages. &goddamn convo's posted in people's profiles. ittearsmeapart. $2.00 is the price to pay.

and you just take everything she has. [Saturday June 2nd, 2007 at 4:19pm] [ mood | chillaxin' ] [ music | taylor swift! 'cold as you' ] school's almost over. as much as i love that, i hate it. i lose people over the summer. we say we'll hang out...but we don't. you're not with people 8 hours a day, so you do lose eachother. kinda...forget them because you don't see them. i fucking hate that. maybe it won't be that bad. my life consists of: constant rides home from jimmy boone on tuesday. "you're not a varriable on tuesdays. you're a constant." naps in chem. and brie waking me up by pouring water on my foot. nights out with michelle-going to random ass places. going to shop rite-just to see jimmy boone. thoughts of: fucking it all and not going to college-not even BCC. & more of forgetting the whole 'i want to be a shrink idea.' i need to study for finals. EVEN IF it fucking kills. me. and it will. for sure. &wtf. there are no jelly fish at the shore. just hypodermic needles. really. welcome, to new jersey! $6.00 is the price to pay.

and she tends to mean it, baby. [Monday May 21st, 2007 at 9:48pm] [ mood | whatev. ] [ music | brand new 'mix tape' ] BOSTON for my counsin's BU graduation. yeah, the trip pretty much sucked ass. dinners sucked, everyone was like paired off with their boy or girlfriends, husbands and wives. whatev. so i was like left out of conversations. durring dinner on sunday night? i called my mom at the table and spoke to her for 25mins. atleast before dinner sat. night and durring dinner on sunday, my grandmother got me fucking wine. it was a highlight. i did have my own room though. it was joined with my grandparents-so they could come in all the time. but it was good having my own space, t.v. and bathroom. i spent a lot of time on the phone, and being kinda bitchy. and at graduation, i fell inlove with this guy that sat in front of me. & then took 5,000 pictures of the back and side of his head. lmao. oh well, it was nice to get away. i missed my bitches though. swear to god. oh, oh. & i loves mahh becca. bar B3C q (8:56:36 PM): i misse du so much baby bar B3C q (8:56:39 PM): i truly did and now for over 70pictures. i was actually really bored. ( she said, i think i'll go to boston. ) $6.00 is the price to pay.

& i hope this makes me feel at home. [Sunday May 13th, 2007 at 3:11am] [ mood | alrighty. ] [ music | senses fail 'can't be saved (acoustic!)' ] so will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found? i kept my word and you hate me for it now [you knew all along] try to forget me and just move on. i think i'm pretty good right now. it's the little shit that bothers me not the big things...that should bother me. a bit of me is still waiting to be forgotten. i can't blame myself for that. if only you could trust that we're not going to end up like the rest of them. then we'd be okay. i've dealt with your random bullshit. look what...we've been through? & i'm not like them. honestly, come on. FRIDAY: half day much? jimmy & i went on an adventure. actually, i came to keep him company. jimmy boone's a class A asshole- but we like him anyway. driving out of our way...as usual. taco bell. office depot. cvs. our trips always involve office supplies stores. hey, whatever gets you off right? i am not the one you should blame. so take what i left you for the pain and do your best to forget my name. the price to pay.

every little outline. [Friday May 4th, 2007 at 1:22am] [ mood | cramps@!%# ] [ music | t.v. ] but things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do. i'm grounded. but i've stole my mom's laptop. and came on anyway. i have horrible cramps. & my life's fucking crazy. my heart died the other day. if you get the chance? never let that happen to you. i don't want to be forgotten. and i feel, because of newer things, i might be. we'll see. $4.00 is the price to pay.

just forget, anything she's said about it. [Sunday April 29th, 2007 at 11:35pm] [ mood | dying. ] [ music | letter kills 'hold my heart' & JB's doing coke. ] too much is happening. in too short of a time. and i don't think, i'm going to be able to handle it. but i have to. i want to. because i don't want to fuck things up. i don't mean for them to be fucked up. just. idk. forget i mentioned it. i'll be fine. just let me try to. $2.00 is the price to pay.

i'll make it to the moon. if i have to crawl. [Thursday April 19th, 2007 at 8:05pm] [ mood | i can't explian. ] [ music | RHCP 'scar tissue' ] BEFORE school so. jimmy boone came all the way to my casa, and gave me a ride to school. that made me happy. my neighbor'a madre stop driving joe, bob and me. and taking the bus sucks, because i get to school at 7:18am. that gives me no fucking time to do my shit. IN school -writting notes. -getting few notes. -talking in spanish to jimmy boone. -no idea what's going on. -no work in chem; -just talking to brie. -bitches at lunch. -jazz band concert instead of english. -sitting on the floor, passing notes? ha. -art keeping me sane. -my painting pissing me off. AFTER school jimmy boone and ashlee b go on an adventure. we stop by jimmy's house, so i can see his new floors. (and his half panted walls.) then we drive to CVS. spend...god knows how long roaming around there. after we got bored of CVS we headed to shop-rite. of course. -meet brittany. the manager. or whatev. she does. haha, she's cool. i like her. -meet brittany's husband matt. he's fucking hysterical. -listened and almost pissed ourselves to matt going on about how he's going to get a pet flying squirrell. and make t-shirts and stickers. and get an ant farm....and hang it on the wall of his house. "how cool would parties at my house be with a squirrell running around, sitting on your shoulder and all." -i was personally unimpressed by one thing at shop rite. kinda a let down. -going down each aisle, so jimmy could tell me what shit he levels. -i never thought i'd say this: but i fell inlove at shop rite with this beautiful boy. i fucking love him. and i want him. and he shall be mine. never mind the problem of him...having a girlfriend? yeah. that bitch can be replaced. -jimmy buys random shit. we leave. -pass the guy who eats out of the trashcan. -get in the car. "i really wanted to level things to piss brittany off." "...we're going back in, aren't we?" "yeahhhh." -go back in, so jimmy can level shit. -OCD & ADD kicks in. jimmy levels shit. -i'm pretty fucking amused. -my OCD kicks in. -i help jimmy level a bit. "brittany, aisle 10 shouldn't be a problem." "...why?" "i just leveled it." -we leave for good. &now i have a massive headache. again. and i'm pissed off...and sad? idfk. and i got bored. had to puppy-sit? so. random pictures. ( and tell me the first thing to come to mind. ) $4.00 is the price to pay.

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